Yo Momma So Fat
by Sexy Duck Face
Summary: Says what it does on the tin.


**This is my first fanfic so I'd appreciate reviews, but don't be too harsh...**

_**Your momma so fat...**_

When she hauls butt she has to make two trips.

When she dances she makes the band skip.

When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave your momma 13 years to live.

She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Her butt has its own congressman.

Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw your momma peanuts.

Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

"Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of your momma's butt cheeks.

All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Your Momma"

When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

When I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

She could sell shade.

When she crosses the street, cars look out for yo momma.

People jog around her for exercise.

I ran around her twice and got lost.

She gets runs in her jeans.

Her blood type is Ragu.

When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

If she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!

She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

She can't even jump to a conclusion.

She went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

She can't even fit in the chat room.

She put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

She has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

she went to the movies and sat next to everyone!

she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.

she won Miss Bessie the Cow YEAR.

she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

she's got her own post code.

she's got her own zip code!

she's in two time zones at the same time!

she's on both sides of the family!

she's sits on coal and farts out a diamond.

she's works in the movies - as the screen.

the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her.

the airline charges her round trip for each flight.

the animals at the zoo feed her.

the highway patrol made her wear Caution! Wide Turn.

they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

they invented super extra strength ultra Slim Fast.

they mistake her for a country.

to her light food means under 4 Tons.

to lose a few pounds she takes off her girdle.

when I got on top of her my ears popped.

when a cop saw her he told her Hey you two break it up!

when her beeper goes off people think she's backing up.

when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too.

when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

when she falls it measures on the Richter scale!

when she fell in love she broke it!

when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

when she goes to parties people scream Kool-Aid!

when she has sex she has to give directions!

when she has to haul ass it takes two trips!

when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

when she moons people they turn into Werewolves.

when she puts her foot down she clears rain forests.

when she sings, it's over!

when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

when she sweats everyone around her wears raincoats!

when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.

when she turns around it's her birthday.

when she turns around they throw her a welcome-back party.

when she walks in high heels she strikes oil.

when she walks she leaves snail tracks...

when she wears her X jacket helicopters try to land.

when she wears red all the kids scream Kool-Aid!

when you get on top of her your ears pop!

when you put her in a Jacuzzi she makes her own gravy!

whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

you can slap her thighs and ride the waves in!

you can't tell if she is coming or going...

your family portrait has stretch marks.


End file.
